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I know I'm probably going to catch a lot of flack for this, because The Omen is considered by many to be a classic in the genre, but I just couldn't get my mind around seeing Gregory "To Kill a Mocking Bird / Guns of Navarone" Peck and David "Quest of the Delta Knights / Beastmaster 3" Warner in the same screen shot. There's this one scene where they show David in the foreground, and Gregory in the background, both in profile. All I could think was "Gregory resembles finely chiseled granite, while David is more like hastily sculpted Velveeta". It was hard to watch!
Now I know you've probably all seen this, but I need to include at least a brief synopsis for those of you who are under the age of 20, or perhaps Amish.
Foreign ambassador Gregory Peck is negotiating with a priest over a newborn baby. Seems his wife (Lee Remick) just lost their baby in childbirth, and he's trying to replace it before she wakes up from heavy childbirth sedation. I say "seems" because the sound quality was so bad that half of the plot had to be figured out through charades. So the switch is made and Lee's none the wiser. They continue on with their charmed diplomatic life until, at an appallingly opulent 5th birthday party for little Damien, the family nanny makes prolonged eye contact with a snarling rottweiler, which prompts her to take a noose dive off the top floor of the palatial estate in front of hordes of scarred-for-life children. People were so sensitive back then! This paves the way for new improved nanny, now with twice the creepy power!
Needless to say, odd things start to happen from there. A zealous priest visits Gregory at his office, ranting that the child is evil, you must accept Christ before it's too late, your wife is in danger, blah blah blah. Hard to concentrate on what he's saying what with all the wild eyes and spittle. Gregory has him thrown out, but not before he cryptically cries "His mother was a j.....". Jolly gal? Jingoist? Jar of olives? Before he can tell us, the door bursts open and he's hustled off by an armed guard. Now, in my humble opinion it seems that when delivering important messages regarding the supernatural, you should use the calm, reasonable approach rather than shrieking hysterically about how only by drinking the blood of Christ will you be saved. That just puts people off! Here's my interpretation of how that conversation could have been made more efficient:
CRAZY PRIEST: Say Gregory old chap, I've happened across some interesting news regarding your creepy little son.
GREGORY: Really? If it has anything to do with why he's never been sick a day in his life and has a screaming aversion to churches, why, I'm all ears.
CRAZY PRIEST: Matter of fact, it does. Now bear with me this is going to sound a little odd, but it seems little Damien is the son of Satan. Indeed! Born of a jackal, mark of the beast, the whole nine yards.
GREGORY: You know, I've had my suspicions, but what do I do?
CRAZY PRIEST: Well old boy, you're not going to like this, but it seems the only way to get rid of the little nipper is to stick a whole mess of pointy sacred knives into him while on hallowed ground. Good luck, cheerio.
Okay, so maybe Gregory wouldn't have believed him anyway, but he probably wouldn't have had him frog-marched to the curb by security. And if he had believed him it would have cut down on the need for a LOT of David Warner's screen time.
Here's a thought, Gus Van Zant, instead of remaking a classic that doesn't need remaking (Psycho comes to mind) how 'bout sinking your remake fangs into this one? It really is a classic that was seriously held back by the limitations of '70's film making technology (not to mention fashion, SHEESH!)
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